All the experts and all the “motivational quotes” always say two things: 1) you have to believe in yourself, and 2) you have to take action to accomplish your dreams or goals. So, sure I can buy into that. I understand that the more positive thoughts and actions I have the more positive things will happen. I always say that you get back from life what you put out to it. And I truly believe that. But when the negative party shows up in your head, how the heck are you supposed to get rid of it? How do you begin to believe in yourself? What are the actions to take to do that?
First I will tell you that this is my biggest challenge. I have struggled ALL my life with my own self worth and value. I rarely will try new things or shy away from adventures because I don’t believe I can do things or will look like a fool, so I give up on me. I am good at faking it, most people wouldn’t know that I have this issue (well unless you read my blogs). But I have also done a lot of work (and taking action) to build my own self confidence. And for the last couple of years, I really finally felt strong, confident, and valued. But (wow there’s a lot of buts) in the last few months, I lost it. My hormones are out of balance (some) and the symptoms of peri-menopause has my head spinning. However, I am not about to let this beat me. I have enough fight in me to figure out how to overcome the brain fog, lack of motivation, and the emotional roller coaster I am on.
Here’s what I am doing. Each morning I take 5 – 10 minutes to sit in silence and pray. You can pray, meditate, but be silent. I pray to God and thank him for my life and abundance. I ask him to help me find my inner peace and I focus on my connection with Him as I sit in silence. Then I look in the mirror and say out loud a self-affirmation. Depending on my goal, I may say the same one for several days or weeks until I know I truly believe it. (I may say something like “I have a lot to offer to people. My positive energy is good for others and I am valuable. I am smart and beautiful.” I then will write a sentence or two in my journal of things I am grateful for. All of these things will start my day with a focus on the positive. To help with that, I rev up my endorphins with exercise.
All of the above (and a couple of cups of coffee) really does get me started right . So it would be nice if that’s all I had to do. But that negative party really likes to show up in my head. It’s a habit. And habits are hard to break. So I am now employing the 5 second rule. When a negative thought or self doubt gets in my head, I count backwards (5,4,3,2,1) which fires up the frontal cortex of the brain, and then I put a positive thought in my head or repeat my self affirmation. I may also remind myself to look at the person or situation through the lens of love. Reminding myself that I need to see me and others through this lens as well as finding the good in all situations.
It’s not easy doing these things, but it’s simple. I have incorporated the following: “The Miracle Morning,” by Hal Enrod, “The Universe Has Your Back,” by Gabrielle Bernstein, and “The 5 Second Rule,” by Mel Robbins. If you need a mindset shift, these are great books to give you the tools to help you.
Further, I am getting back on track with how I started feeling more confident. I am fueling my body with the right nutrition (it’s amazing how food affects your body) and exercise. When your body functions the way it should, you are better equipped to handle what life throws at you.
Need help getting rid of the negativity?